Seven tips to love yourself and boost Self-love
Not having self-love will often correlate with anxious or avoidant attached styles.
Loving yourself is the secret to a secure attachment style.
You feel you need others validation excessively to feel good about yourself.
You might be hypersensitive to rejection, and it impacts you severely when someone does not want to spend time with you.
You might be sensitive to judgment and worry about being judged cause you to people, please.
You are compromising your own needs and boundaries to get acceptance from others.
There is nothing wrong with you.
If you lack self-love, you simply did not get the safety and acceptance from your caregivers growing up, so you learned these habits.
The self-judgment can be a prominent voice.
If we want to feel securely attached and feel good both being on our own and being intimate with others, we have to cultivate self-love.
Imagine not worrying so much about what another think. Not have to caretake other’s needs.
It is also the foundation for flourishing and stable relationships.
Self-love requires self-regulate
We all feel stress, and we often try to regulate the stress by seeking comfort in other people. There is nothing wrong with that.
It’s both natural and healthy; however, as with anything in life, it’s about finding the right balance and not being dependent on others to soothe you when you feel stressed.
The first step to self-love is to practice how you can calm your nervous system down in other ways than using other people or numbing out with the TV, phone, or other distractions, so we avoid feeling.
When we feel stressed, we release adrenalin and cortisol, and our sympathetic nervous system is activated, so we are ready to fight or run away.
The body is meant to move out of the stress response, and that’s often why we get stuck in stress because we don’t move.
So, the first part is to move. Dance around your living room, do boxing or go for a run.
Whichever you prefer but move your body.
The second part is your breathing.
Practice breathing all the way slowly down. See your belly expanding.
Now you feel calmer; it’s time to self-love.
We live in a culture that flourishes in making us feel bad about our bodies.
The more imperfect we feel, the more money we spend. It’s prominent for both gender but more shame for women around body image.
Fake images of models and pornstar’s have created this false image.
Feeling bad about your body shuts down the sexual response and affect your confidence.
Let’s learn to love your own body and not these photoshopped images of models with anorexia or implants.
A whole industry flourishes on making women feel bad about their body because you spend more on makeup, new clothing or cosmetic surgery, etc.…
You are beautiful; you have just been fed an illusion.
Look at your body in the mirror and start to talk nicely to your body.
You are with yourself, so how you feel about your body impacts you 24/7, so it’s far more important you feel good about it than others.
What do you like?
What could you give a bit more love?
Do things you enjoy
We spend so much of our life doing obligations and things for other people.
Self-love is doing things you enjoy.
Dance in your living room… Go surfing… Photography… Whatever it is that you enjoy, do more of that.
If you do things that make you feel present in the moment and give you meaning, you will feel better about yourself.
Science says so -)
And you become much more interesting to be with, so if anything, do it for me -)
This one I love. Journaling is a great way to express how I am feeling and process and let it go.
It’s also a way to express gratitude towards others and myself.
What did you appreciate today?
It will help you start noticing more what is wonderful.
What did you appreciate about yourself today?
Don’t forget you. You are worth appreciation, and you are more awesome than you know.
Our brain has a negative bias, so this is a chance to help our mind see what is incredible about you…
You will be surprised how much you discover as you get better at this.
Surround yourself with people that support you
Self-love is only allowing people in your life that treat you with respect, support, and acceptance.
So, anyone that makes you feel drained or less about yourself regularly, you should get out of your life.
Find people that see the good in you. Support your dreams and growth and accept you for who you are.
Take care of your body
Your mind speaks to your body, and your body speaks to your mind.
Yes, it’s what the smart scientists say.
So, move your body to keep it healthy.
Running daily is more effective than anti-depressants.
Threat your body temple with the care it deserves.
Notice your posture.
Your posture impacts your mood, so hold yourself how you want to feel.
Want to feel great, then push your chest out, lift your head and hold your arms up.
Try it. It feels good.
Smile at yourself in the mirror; it might even make you laugh.
Talk to your with self-compassion
How you talk to yourself matters.
How come we have so much understanding and compassion for others but often so much judgment for ourselves.
It’s time to start giving yourself that compassion.
Yes, so you messed up that presentation.
If that was your best friend or your child, how would you speak to them if they messed up a presentation?
Kindly, I hope. Then do the same to yourself.
Rather than “I messed up and will never get that promotion,” what about “I did my best and I will learn and do better next time. I am human, and it’s ok to mess up” which one will make you feel better.
I think you get the point.
Turn that compassion towards yourself, and when it’s hard, think about how you would speak to your best friend or child if they had been in the same situation.
That is self-love from Zensensa today. To learn more check out the self-love and confidence program here.
You are worthy of love.