Is couples therapy and marriage counseling really effective or are there better ways to deal with relationship issues?
Emotional focused therapy has been shown to be the most successful couples therapy & marriage counseling method and was found to be 75% effective.
Other forms of couples therapy or marriage counseling had less than 50% success rate.
But the measurement of effective or success has been based on the medical disease model of something being wrong and restoring it to “normal”
The key measurement that said EFT had 75% success was “reduction of complaints”
A successful relationship is not simply having less complaints and distress.
Relationships are able to provide growth, self-exploration, fulfilment of our goals, excitement, passion, fulfil sexual needs, touch, emotional intimacy and so much more.
So, to measure couples therapy success mainly on the reduction in conflicts and stress is very misleading.
Do you view a successful relationship as a relationship that simply don’t provide to much stress?
No, right? Me neither.
Can you see the medical disease restore to normal in operation here?
Well relationships are not a disease to be fixed.
A successful relationship is not a relationship with limited complaints and stress so I believe these figures are highly misleading and the actual “success” for me defined by relationships that flourish is far, far lower.
So, while couples therapy might create a reduction in stress it will not necessarily help provide the framework for a happy and flourishing relationship.
Why do so many people go to couples therapy?
Well it’s often the only option people are aware off.
But what if we change the disease model of relationships?
We could instead be looking at how we can flourish.
The two types of couples therapy most commonly offered are based on either attachment theory; that the conflict is based on our attachment models and behaviours and a fundamental lack of safety.
The other branch of coupes therapy is focused on working with people’s individual needs.
Both miss that it’s the balance of the two that can ensure a relationship that provides intimacy, safety, self-fulfilment and excitement.
That’s why at Zensensa I made the focus to integrate these two branches of couples therapy and the extensive research done on sexuality and how to integrate this in our relationships to deepen our intimacy and sexual fulfilment.
While my method is based on research it is not just focus on restoring couples to normal but to help them explore and express parts of themselves with each other that they never though possible to enhance intimacy and sexual desires.
If you really want the detailed theory and exercises to have an amazing relationship with emotional closeness, self-fulfilment and sexual excitement then check out my two eBooks and follow the many detailed exercises.
Now, couples therapy can be beneficial.
A 3rd party that can spot the destructive patterns and sometimes stopping them can be helpful and allow space to then implement the tools I give you in my eBooks.
Have fun relating.