The 3 steps how to end a relationship

Today you will learn the 3 steps to conscious uncoupling.

You will learn how to end a relationship in a healing and loving way.

So often relationships end abruptly causing long lasting damage in trust to both parties.

It’s because no one ever taught us how to end a relationship so today that’s what you will learn.

Why do we go from spend most of our time together, sharing our most intimate moments and perhaps even loving each other to not wanting anything to do with each other?

There is another way to do things that will provide

  1. Healing from and resentment and hurt
  2. leave you both walking away with trust intact
  3. maintain a connection and stay close as a none romantic relationship (friends)

Most often we can’t deal with the emotions of how to end a relationship and we therefore run away instead leaving one or both partners hurt, loosing trust in future relationships and we miss the opportunity for healing and maintaining some connection.

Obviously, there are times when you realized your partner is not someone you want in your life.

They might be abusive or you just realized they are not the kind of person you want around.

In that case being firm and direct is your best option, and involve help from support groups or the police if needed.

What I am talking about in today’s article is when you want to maintain contact with your partner but no longer want a romantic relationship with them.

I call it conscious uncoupling.

Conscious uncoupling is a way to heal any resentment or hurt.

While your current relationship might be coming to and end, it’s the birth of a new relationship that might be different and not involve sexual contact but it can in some ways be even better as you can keep the good parts and get rid of what was not working as a romantic couple.

While a breakup can feel very personal often it’s not.

Some people are just not compatible.

Different attachment styles that cause conflict cycles and anxiety.

Very different backgrounds and life goals.

There can be so many reasons that you both feel disappointed or hurt and now want to end the relationship but that does not mean there is anything wrong with either of you.

Here are the 3 steps I suggest

Therapy sessions

It’s common when at the end of a relationship that both parties feel disappointment or frustration from expectations or needs not being meet.

Or, it might be resentment and anger that boundaries were violated.

It could also be hurt from attachment wounds, because you partner was not there when you needed them.

Whatever the emotion and cause, looking at these with a qualified EFT (emotional focused therapist) can be a great way to bring it out in the open and process the emotions together in a loving and accepting way.

Have the EFT therapist will help you when you both get triggered and to avoid you getting stuck in negative cycles but instead can focus on the healing, acceptance and forgiveness.

Trust me you will both feel so much better after having done this process and you will likely feel closer from it.

Even if you decide you still want to end the relationship then it will end in a way you can have closure and heal. 

Remember the good times

When you want to end a relationship it’s easy to only be focused on what you don’t like about your partner anymore.

But, you came together for a reason and there was something you did like about each other.

Those part’s are not gone and I am sure you also shared good time at some point.

As part of the uncoupling process sit together and share the good memories, look at pictures of trips or other good experiences you shared and tell each other your favorite experiences from the relationship.

Have a cry together. Crying is part of the healing and grieving process that allow you to recover better and faster.

This leaves you both with a more positive frame and memory of what you shared and can replace anger and resentment with appreciation.

Do my eBook exercises

So, in my eBook that you can get here you will find so many resources, tips and exercises to not only make your next relationship more intimate and connected but also some great exercises on how to have repair conversations.

These can really make the difference between a bad and painful end to a relationship and a loving end to the relationship.

Check them out here.

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